As we've noted before, dashes and colons can cause problems if used carelessly. And a profusion of such punctuation may suggest that a sentence is overstuffed or undercooked.
A few recent examples:
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Everyone knows this Jets team is far different from the one that went to the A.F.C. championship game twice, and despite the season-long shakiness of the Patriots' secondary - which played much better against the Colts, it is hard to imagine that the Jets have the weapons to pass their way to a victory Thursday.
We needed two dashes, not a dash and a comma, to set off this parenthetical clause. Better still, consider breaking the sentence up or paring it down.
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The movie also illustrates another thing: that politics is the best place to develop the highest virtues. Politics involves such a perilous stream of character tests: how l ow can you stoop to conquer without destroying yourself; when should you be loyal to your team and when should you break from it; how do you wrestle with the temptations of fame - that the people who can practice it and remain intact, like Lincoln, Washington or Churchill, are incredibly impressive.
Here, too, a pair of dashes was needed, not a colon and a dash. But once again, streamlining the passage may be the better choice. It's almost never a good idea to have colon constructions in two consecutive sentences. And when colons, dashes, commas and semicolons start to pile up, consider whether a sentence is veering out of control.
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Theirs is an improbable buddy act that is making for unlikely entertainment from campuses to corporations on a most serious subject: the federal debt. The proof of their appeal: some business groups pay them $40,000 each per appearance. Really. To discuss budgets and baselines.
Ladies and gentlemen, coming soon to your city or town (if they have not been there already, and maybe even if they have) are the latest odd couple of politics: the 67-year-old Democratic straight man, Erskine B. Bowles of Charlotte, N.C., and his corny 81-year-old, 6-foot-7 Republican sidekick, Alan K. Simpson of Cody, Wyo.
This was an amusing start to a profile of Bowles and Simpson. But colons in three consecutive sentences gave it a repetitive and jumpy feel.
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It's a combination that not only has Barbie building luxury mansions - they are pink, of course - but Lego promoting a line of pastel construction toys called Friends that is an early Christmas season hit. The Mega Bloks Barbie Build ân Style line, available next week, has both girls - and their fathers - in mind.
Here, too, having pairs of dashes in consecutive sentences seems like overkill. More important, the dashes in the second sentence don't work. A âboth/andâ construction is intended to tie two elements closely together, so it doesn't make sense to separate one element with dashes. (There is also a parallelism problem with the ânot only ⦠butâ construction in the first sentence; the dashes may have thrown us off track.)
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From the first extreme close-up of Bella fluttering open her dark, feathery eyelashes, Mr. Condon makes this âTwilightâ an intensely tactile and intimate experience. Taking his cues from the Golden Age of Hollywood - the close-ups of Bella and Edward bring to mind those of Elizabeth Taylor and Montgomery Clift in âA Place in the Sun.â He bathes his stars in a gleaming light that gives their pale faces a luxurious alabaster sheen.
Somehow we went off track here and ended up with a sentence fragment. Perhaps we intended to use another dash after âA Place in the Sunâ and continue the sentence?
Â
In a Word
This week's grab bag of grammar, style and other miss teps, compiled with help from colleagues and readers.
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At Omtay Tso, Sangay bid us farewell as he awaited the arrival of the horse team over the pass.
The preferred past tense for this sense is âbade.â
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Yet from their first home game in Major League Soccer, the MetroStars/Red Bulls franchise has been beset, some of the club's fans believe, by its own hoodoo: the Curse of Caricola.
The Times's stylebook notes that this word is stilted and âbest replaced by conversational synonyms like troubled or harassed.â
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Speaking mainly in English, a language he has a fluent if idiosyncratic grasp of, the president attempted to explain himself in terms Americans might understand - making reference in one answer to âGood Morning America,â Barbara Walters, the Iran hostage crisis, Charles Bronson and âPlanet of the Apes.â
This verb is often stilted, as the styleb ook notes; âtriedâ is more conversational.
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Introduced in 2003, Skype encrypts each Internet call so that they are next to impossible to crack. It quickly became the pet technology of global organizers and opposition members in totalitarian countries.
The plural âtheyâ doesn't work with the singular antecedent âcall.â
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It should be noted, however, that this happens to shows with puny ratings about as often as cement shoes prove to be floatation devices.
Make it âflotation.â
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Robert Thomson, the top editor at The Wall Street Journal and Dow Jones and a confidante of News Corporation's chairman and chief executive, Rupert Murdoch, is expected to be named chief executive of the media conglomerate's newly spun-off publishing company.
Make it âconfidantâ for a man.
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Listeners have speculated that air pockets or periodontal disease or even Bell's palsy account for his way of speaking.
When âorâ or ânorâ separates alternate subjects, the closest determines whether the verb should be singular or plural. Make it âor even Bell's palsy accounts forâ¦â
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The 1986 paradigm has become an intellectual straightjacket, foreclosing considerations of the things we actually have to do.
The preferred spelling, in our stylebook, is âstraitjacket.â
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Among the companies that analysts have said could make a bid to acquire The FT are Thomson Reuters, which has an editorial staff of thousands but no print publication.
Don't be fooled by âcompaniesâ; the subject of the verb is the singular Thomson Reuters, so make it âis Thomson Reuters.â
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So far this year, 47 people have died in residential fires, a pace that would mean the fewest number of such deaths sin ce New York City began keeping reliable counts early in the 20th century.
Make it âthe smallest numberâ or âthe fewest such deaths.â
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Cindy Michaels and Tony Consiglio came to work last Tuesday with a secret: this was going to be their last day co-anchoring the news together.
âCo-anchoring togetherâ is redundant.
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âHe will get well in time, but it's not the kind of illness where you can put a timetable on it,â a subdued Mr. Jackson told reporters outside his home here following the resignation.
In this construction, the stylebook prefers âafterâ as less stilted.
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They say Mr. Kerry has won their respect and that it is his foreign policy chops that give him an edge with them.
No need to rely on the faddish slang âchops.â
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Quebec's stringent language laws, first passed in 1977, have long meant that regardless of the name out front, all large retailers serve customers in French and post signs that are predominately, or entirely, in French along their aisles.
The stylebook and dictionary prefer âpredominantâ and âpredominantlyâ for the adjective and adverb forms.
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Even before Hurricane Sandy, New York was sheltering more homeless people than any city in the United States
Logic dictates that we make it âany other city.â
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It is the flip side of the Mexico that the world is familiar with: the one in which drug barons hang bodies from bridges, evade the law in elaborate hideaways and funnel billions of dollars in narcotics across the border and around the world.
No call for the colloquial expression here.
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To be canonized as a saint, Day will face several major hurdles, according to the Rev. Thomas J. Reese, senior fellow at the Woodstock Theological Cente r.
It seems odd to describe Dorothy Day, long dead, as facing hurdles; it is the effort by others to have her canonized that faces hurdles.
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Still, in the 2012 election, it feels as if we've been neglected more than is absolutely necessary.
âA redundancy,â as the stylebook notes.
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There have been previous libel suits over comments posted on Twitter, a site that lets users write short messages to their followers.
Needless to say⦠it was needless to say.
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[Op-Ed] Governor Andrew M. Cuomo has been courageous to make global warming a subject of public debate, but will taxpayers support his proposal to build a levee in New York Harbor?
Abbreviate governor in a full first reference: Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo.
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Not so, though, for a majority of patients diagnosed with cancers of the lung or colon that have spread well beyond their original site and are currently not curable by any drugs in the medical armamentarium.
From the stylebook:
diagnose. The disease, not the patient, is diagnosed. Do not write: She was diagnosed with cancer.
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Each of the five said that he hadn't participated in the rampage, and yet, after they were arrested for attacking Ms. Meili, most confessed to assaulting her. The confessions sealed their downfall.
We would be hard-pressed to find a better example for why we should not use this construction. The âarrested forâ implies they did it.