Parallel Problems

[PLEASE NOTE: After Deadline will be on vacation for two weeks and will return on Tuesday, Aug. 27.]

In The Times's stylebook entry, it seems simple:

In an either/or construction, the terms that follow the two words should be parallel in form and purpose: The chef bakes either pies or cakes daily (not either bakes pies or cakes). The same principle applies to neither/nor and both/and.

But as my colleague Ken Paul points out, we stumble often over these constructions. Here are a few recent problems, including three from one day:

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Ms. Popova, who died at 91 on July 8 in Moscow, was inspired both by patriotism and a desire for revenge.

The problem frequently crops up in cases like this, with a prepositional phrase. In this instance, “both” is followed by a full prepositional phrase (preposition plus noun): “by patriotism.” But after “and,” we have just the noun, with no preposition. So the two elements are not parallel. Restore the balance one of two ways: put the preposition before “both” (“by both patriotism and a desire for revenge”) or repeat the preposition (“both by patriotism and by a desire for revenge”).

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Even before he landed at Newark Liberty International Airport last year, veteran human rights advocates predicted a tug of war over Mr. Chen and his superhero élan, both among elected officials and the tangle of Chinese exile groups that often vie for attention and scarce financing.

The same problem, and the same possible solutions. Put the preposition “among” before “both” (“among both elected officials and the tangle of Chinese exile groups”) or use it with both parts of the construction (“both among elected officials and among the tangle”).

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For the Obama administration, the problem is not simply its relationship with the Egyptian military but also with Israel, whose security interests are weighing particularly heavily on administration officials as they try to nurture a new round of peace negotiations between Israel and the Palestinians.

This is a variation on the more common “not only/but also” construction. Like “both/and” and “either/or,” it should introduce two parallel elements. We needed to repeat “its relationship” before “with Israel,” or move the conjunction: “its relationship not simply with the Egyptian military but also with Israel.”

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When Mr. Tsarnaev did not show up at either Mr. Mess's funeral or memorial service, the friend became uneasy.

Here, the two elements in the either/or construction are not parallel because one includes the possessive and one doesn't. Make it “at either Mr. Mess's funeral or his memorial service.”

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William Weinreb, an assistant United States attorney, told Judge Bowler that he expected the trial to last three to four months and for 80 to 100 witnesses to be called.

This is a more subtle parallelism issue. The use of “for” after “expected” in the second element is unnecessary and seems somewhat colloquial; in any case, it throws the construction out of balance to say “expected the trial to last …” but then say “[expected] FOR 80 to 100 witnesses to be called.”

 
In a Word

This week's grab bag of grammar, style and other missteps, compiled with help from colleagues and readers.

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The infection happens when meat containing the germ is eaten, grows in the gut, and then is introduced into the urethra.

The germ, not the meat, is what grows in the gut etc.

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But this much is known: If Patrick were being born in August 2013, his odds of surviving would be better than 95 percent.

This seems unnecessarily awkward; just “were born” would do.

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At night, Mr. Van Cura said, “it is difficult to see barges that are low in the water in the dark.”

Given what he said, “at night” is redundant.

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Said Kenneth R. Feinberg, the head of the John F. Kennedy library: “As the sole surviving member of President Kennedy's family, she is the guardian of the flame. It is an awesome responsibility, and she does it extremely well.”

We should avoid this backward-speaking journalistic mannerism.

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The space has been reborn with a new name (a homage to the Lyonnaise chef Paul Bocuse) and an airy, bistro-style interior by Adam Tihany, who designed such celebrated Manhattan restaurants as Daniel and Per Se.

Lyonnais, not Lyonnaise, is the masculine.

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But with a steady stream of drop-ins including Ronald O. Perelman, Ronald S. Lauder, Russell Simmons and Steven Spielberg; a speaker series that features a variety of notables as varied as Hillary Rodham Clinton and Glenn Beck; cantorial music on a par with Carnegie Hall; and other summer fare like this weekend's kosher gospel concert, the pews are generally packed.

A varied variety is redundant.

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It is hardly unusual for a politician to have an outsized ego, but Mr. Christie lacks the masking subtlety possessed by many in his business.

The stylebook prefers “outsize.”

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Every player knows that betting on their team equates to a lifetime suspension.

“Every player” is singular; make it “betting on his team.”

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Though the election on Wednesday will be decided by 150 rabbis, mayors and people handpicked by politicians, the campaign has captivated the public like never before, thanks to Rabbi Stav's agenda, his high-profile media blitz and professional consultants.

Make it “captivated … as never before.”

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But the announcement on Sunday of the merger of two industry giants, Omnicom and Publicis, to create the largest ad company in the world, signals that advertising is now firmly in the business of Big Data: collecting and selling the personal information of millions of consumers.

Grammatically this comma is unnecessary, but the real problem may be that the sentence is too complicated and needed to be streamlined.

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But the marshaled might of law enforcement - which people briefed on the matter said were 17 officials, including representatives from the Securities and Exchange Commission and the F.B.I., and postal inspectors as well as federal prosecutors - signaled that the government was no longer interested in just monetary settlements.

“Which,” referring to the noun “might,” is singular, so the verb should be “was,” not “were.” Or say “included” or “consisted of.” Or, better still, simplify the sentence.

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The move will give Mr. Smith significant scale and a connection with Bloomberg's lucrative terminal business, which produces revenue that allows the company to invest aggressively in media properties.

This use of “scale” as a synonym for “wide scope” or “large size” has a faddish tone.

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But the choice also is roiling Washington because it is reviving longstanding and sensitive questions about the insularity of the Obama White House and the dearth of women in its top economic policy positions.

The adverb is smoothest between the verb parts: “is also roiling.”

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Mr. Paul's assumption seems to be that with fatigue from two wars over the last decade and skepticism toward a growing security state, Republican voters will be open to a foreign policy approach that is profoundly different than the interventionist policies of Mr. Bush.

Make it different from, not different than.

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Producers who had seen a 2012 engagement of “First Date” at the 5th Avenue Theater in Seattle, decided in February to open the show on Broadway in August, hiring as the leads Krysta Rodriguez, from “The Addams Family” and “Smash,” and, in his Broadway debut, Zachary Levi, from television's “Chuck” and Disney's “Tangled.”

Seven commas amounted to a cry for help from this overstuffed sentence. And in any case, the first one was unnecessary.

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The injury occurred during the first act of the play, which stars Mr. Lane as a 1930s-era burlesque performer, as the actor stepped off of the production's turntable, which revolves to allow the “Nance” sets to change from the burlesque house to the apartment of Mr. Lane's character.

Avoid double prepositions; make it “off the production's turntable.”

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One way to educate yourself is to Google the name of your airline and “Contract of Carriage.”

Generally avoid this verb use. There are other search engines, and it's easy enough to refer to online searching without naming a specific one.

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Want a Yogurt With That Vente Latte? Starbucks and Danone to Join Forces

“Venti” is the word Starbucks uses. We had it right in print but some online headlines got it wrong.

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Foreign, 7/24:

Royal Couple Make First Appearance With Infant Son

Jocularly, William blamed the long wait on the baby having arrived past his due date, which palace officials had said months ago was in mid-July.

An awkward sentence. The stylebook cautions against the expression “blame on.” And “the baby having arrived” is a fused participle; careful usage calls for “the baby's having arrived,” or some other phrasing altogether.

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Foreign, 7/23:

Duchess of Cambridge Gives Birth to a Boy

The baby, a boy who weighed in at 8 pounds, 6 ounces, will not be king for some time: he has to wait in the long line behind his great-grandmother Queen Elizabeth; his grandfather Prince Charles; and his father, Prince William.

No commas between the two terms, according to the stylebook.