The Stranger in the Lead

When in doubt, start with an anecdote.

Generations of journalists in search of a fresh, engaging way to start a story have done it. Introduce a person by name, often someone unknown to your reader. Recount a brief (or not-so-brief) anecdote. Sprinkle in a few telling details. And then, at last, explain why this stranger is a perfect example of a larger phenomenon â€" in other words, get to the point.

Occasionally it works brilliantly, especially if the anecdote is truly striking and can be told a just a few words. In other cases, the approach is merely serviceable. And sometimes it seems shopworn and formulaic, a writer’s indulgence that comes at the expense of the reader’s time and patience.

The more often we rely on the device, the less enticing it seems. One day last week (7/22), we had four front-page stories with soft leads highlighting names that most readers would not recognize; two of them were women struggling with financial challenges. None of the leads were bad. The one from Pakistan seemed particularly striking to me. (And arguably, the Bridgeport story was a profile and the opening was not a classic anecdote.) But the overall effect seems clichéd and lacking in urgency.

Of course, none of the writers knew what their colleagues were writing. But chances are, if you are starting your story with an anecdote, you aren’t the only one. And editors who can see the big picture should try to guard against such repetition.

---

Geography Seen as Barrier To Climbing Class Ladder

ATLANTA â€" Stacey Calvin spends almost as much time commuting to her job â€" on a bus, two trains and another bus â€" as she does working part-time at a day care center.

“It’s a science you just have to perfect over time,” said Ms. Calvin, 37.

Her nearly four-hour round-trip stems largely from the economic geography of Atlanta, which is one of America’s most affluent metropolitan areas yet also one of the most physically divided by income. The low-income neighborhoods here often stretch for miles, with rows of houses and low-slung apartments, interrupted by the occasional strip mall, and lacking much in the way of good-paying jobs.

This geography appears to play a major role in making Atlanta one of the metropolitan areas where it is most difficult for lower-income households to rise into the middle class and beyond, according to a new study that other researchers are calling the most detailed portrait yet of income mobility in the United States.

---

Cries of Betrayal as Detroit Plans to Cut Pensions

DETROIT â€" Gloria Killebrew, 73, worked for the City of Detroit for 22 years and now spends her days caring for her husband, J. D., who has had three heart attacks and multiple kidney operations, the last of which left him needing dialysis three times a week at the Henry Ford Medical Center in Dearborn, Mich.

Now there is a new worry: Detroit wants to cut the pensions it pays retirees like Ms. Killebrew, who now receives about $1,900 a month.

“It’s been life on a roller coaster,” Ms. Killebrew said, explaining that even if she could find a new job at her age, there would be no one to take care of her husband. “You don’t sleep well. You think about whether you’re going to be able to make it. Right now, you don’t really know.”

Detroit’s pension shortfall accounts for about $3.5 billion of the $18 billion in debts that led the city to file for bankruptcy last week. How it handles this problem â€" of not enough money set aside to pay the pensions it has promised its workers â€" is being closely watched by other cities with fiscal troubles.

---

Pakistan Battles Polio, and Its People’s Mistrust

KARACHI, Pakistan â€" Usman, who limps on a leg bowed by the polio he caught as a child, made sure that his first three children were protected from the disease, but he turned away vaccinators when his youngest was born.

He was furious that the Central Intelligence Agency, in its hunt for Osama bin Laden, had staged a fake vaccination campaign, and infuriated by American drone strikes, one of which, he said, had struck the son of a man he knew, blowing off his head. He had come to see the war on polio, the longest, most expensive disease eradication effort in history, as a Western plot.

In January, his 2-year-old son, Musharaf, became the first child worldwide to be crippled by polio this year.

“I know now I made a mistake,” said Usman, 32, who, like many in his Pashtun tribe, uses only one name. “But you Americans have caused pain in my community. Americans pay for the polio campaign, and that’s good. But you abused a humanitarian mission for a military purpose.”

Anger like his over American foreign policy has led to a disastrous setback for the global effort against polio. In December, nine vaccinators were shot dead here, and two Taliban commanders banned vaccination in their areas, saying the vaccinations could resume only if drone strikes ended. In January, 10 vaccinators were killed in Nigeria’s Muslim-dominated north.

---

Change Agent in Education Collects Critics in Connecticut Town

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. â€" Paul G. Vallas, a leader in the effort to shake up American education, has wrestled with unions in Chicago, taken on hurricane-ravaged schools in New Orleans and confronted a crumbling educational system in Haiti.

Now he faces what may be his most vexing challenge yet: Fending off a small but spirited crowd of advocates working to unseat him as superintendent of one of Connecticut’s lowest-performing and highest-poverty school districts.

 
In a Word

This week’s grab bag of grammar, style and other missteps, compiled with help from colleagues and readers.

---

Perhaps that’s why SeaWorld’s most well-known show was called “Believe.”

There’s a word for “most well,” and it’s “best.” Make this “SeaWorld’s best-known show.”

---

Neither his wife nor Dr. Caselli perceive these difficulties.

Make it singular: “Neither … perceives these difficulties.”

---

If Mr. Xu is held for long, supporters said that his case was likely to attract wider attention as a test of China’s beleaguered “rights defense” movement, which he helped build.

This structure seems to suggest that the opening conditional clause applies to “supporters said,” which is not what we meant. Better to set off the attribution: “If Mr. Xu is held for long, supporters said, his case is likely to attract wider attention …”

---

The documents showed that in Bucharest, Romania, test takers clearly copied answers from one anothers’ papers, including the mistakes.

Make it “one another’s papers.”

---

Davis’s 37 first-half homers trail only Bonds, who had 39 in 2001. The 37 matches first-half totals by Mark McGwire in 1998 and Reggie Jackson in 1969.

Odd to treat the 37 as plural in the first sentence and singular in the second. Make it plural throughout, or rephrase the second sentence, e.g. “The total of 37 matches …”

---

As if the package from the publishing house was not enough, there was more available on the Internet.

Use the subjunctive for this contrary-to-fact condition: “As if the package … were not enough.”

---

Baseball’s investigators, working on the orders of Selig, have been conducting the aggressive inquiry into the clinic, Biogenesis, an effort that has included the buying of documents and the filing of lawsuits against people close to the clinic.

Much simpler just to say, “has included buying documents and filing lawsuits …”

---

Staking out new ground in the noisy debate about technology and privacy in law enforcement, the New Jersey Supreme Court on Thursday ordered that the police will now have to get a search warrant before obtaining tracking information from cellphone providers.

“Ordered” doesn’t work in this phrasing; make it “ruled that the police will now have to …”

---

The maneuvering in markets for oil, wheat, cotton, coffee and more have brought billions in profits to investment banks like Goldman, JPMorgan Chase and Morgan Stanley, while forcing consumers to pay more every time they fill up a gas tank, flick on a light switch, open a beer or buy a cellphone.

“Maneuvering” is singular: it “has” brought billions in profits, not “have.”

---

[Subhead] As Diners Are Pampered, Staff Are Overlooked, Former Employees Say

Make it “staff is overlooked” or “workers are overlooked.”

---

Mr. de Blasio said he was taken aback by the poor condition of Ms. Wilson’s apartment, where a set of mold-covered cabinets lays on the floor of the kitchen, two years after a flood, despite her repeated requests for repairs.

Lies, not lays. This was later changed online.

---

The show follows Violet’s pilgrimage by Greyhound bus from Spruce Pine, N.C., a small town in the Blue Ridge Mountains, to the Tulsa, Okla., headquarters of a televangelist whom she naïvely believes will heal her.

Who, not whom; it’s the subject of “will heal.”

---

There have been countless bon mots written over the years about the allure of a town that once a year puts the old, beautiful, often flawed sport of thoroughbred racing front and center.

The plural in French is “bons mots.” Or, of course, we could stick to English.

---

Such aggressive behavior in mockingbirds result from perceived threats to their hatchlings, said Glenn Phillips, executive director of New York City Audubon. The incidents should stop any day now as nesting season ends, he said.

“Aggressive behavior” is singular: in mockingbirds, it “results” from perceived threats, not “result.”

---

Extremely high levels of radiation in the now roofless upper sections of the No. 3 reactor building destroyed in a hydrogen explosion that rocked the reactor during the early days of the 2011 disaster make it too dangerous for workers to approach.

At a minimum, readers needed some punctuation to guide them through this overstuffed sentence. Better still, streamline it or break it up.

---

On Friday, Mr. McCain first broached Senator Charles E. Schumer, Democrat of New York, with what would be the final deal.

You broach a subject, but do not broach “with” something. Maybe we meant “approached”?

---

Under the deal, struck during late night talks mainly between Senators Charles E. Schumer, Democrat of New York, and John McCain, Republican of Arizona, the Senate allowed a vote on the nomination of Mr. Cordray, but put aside two nominees for the National Labor Relations Board who the president appointed during a Senate recess, Richard Griffin and Sharon Block. But organized labor

Whom, not who; it’s the object of “appointed.”

Tangled Passages

Complex sentences, with one or more subordinate clauses, often entangle writer and editor in an ungrammatical snarl. Relative clauses - introduced by the relative pronouns who, whom, that and which - seem to give us particular trouble, but piling up clauses of any variety increases the risk of a misstep. Sometimes the best approach is not merely to bandage the grammatical wound but to recast or simplify the sentence.

Some recent examples:

---

Toshi Seeger, whose husband the folk singer Pete Seeger has credited for at least half his success - from helping to organize the first Newport Folk Festival to campaigning to clean the Hudson River - died on Tuesday at their home in Beacon, N.Y.

The tangle here arises from trying to force a relative pronoun (the possessive “whose,” standing in for “of whom”) to perform more than one function at the same time. It can't.

“Whose,” referring to Toshi, modifies “husband.” It can't simultaneously work as the direct object of “has credited,” as we seemed to hope. We would need another pronoun to fill that role: “whose husband … has credited HER for at least half his success.” Better still, we should have recast this cumbersome sentence. (The obit-lead formula, which frequently relies on a long and complicated relative clause describing the subject, is prone to such problems.)

---

Amazon, its detractors argue, is not a nonprofit or public trust but a hard-nosed company whose investors hope will make lots of money someday soon.

A very similar problem arises here, where we have a subordinate clause inside another subordinate clause. “Whose,” the possessive referring to “company” and modifying “investors,” cannot also supply the subject of the verb in the next clause, “will make.” We need another pronoun, even though the antecedent will still be “company”: “whose investors hope it will make lots of money.”

---

Some, like Chai Ling, a student organizer during the Tiananmen Square protests who later embraced evangelical Christianity, alienated many of her supporters by repeatedly suing the creators of a documentary that she says defamed her.

Here the long insertion beginning “like Chai Ling” led us off the original grammatical track. “Some” is supposed to be the subject of the main clause, but it makes no sense to say “some alienated many of her supporters.” Recast it or break it up.

---

But it is the police returning to the streets that offers the most blatant sign that the institutions once loyal to Mr. Mubarak held back while Mr. Morsi was in power.

What does the relative pronoun “that” refer to? If it's the gerund “returning,” then in precise usage “police” should be possessive: “the police's returning.” Or “returning” could be a participle modifying “police,” but in that case the relative pronoun should be “who,” and plural: “It is the police returning to the streets who offer the most blatant sign …”

Better still, simplify the sentence, which now consists of four intertwined clauses: “But the police's return to the streets offers the most blatant sign …”

---

The full acronym has appeared in cases in legal databases for decades; a Chinese gang indictment in New York about a decade ago listed 28 defendants, almost half of which were Fnu Lnus.

A different relative-pronoun problem, also common. The pronoun refers to defendants, so make it “half of whom.”

 
In a Word

This week's grab bag of grammar, style and other missteps, compiled with help from colleagues and readers.

---

His City Hall, like his eponymous company, was built on the power of information.

As a reader pointed out, in precise usage, Bloomberg L.P. is Michael Bloomberg's “namesake” company; he is its “eponymous” founder.

---

But Montana along with West Virginia and South Dakota - two other red states where an incumbent Democrat has retired and where the Democrats have not identified a strong candidate to replace them - gives Republicans a running start.

At least two problems here. The “along with” phrase should be set off with a comma. And the plural “them” doesn't agree with the singular “an incumbent Democrat.”

---

[Headline] D.N.A. Backs Lore on Pre-Columbian Dogs

DNA, for deoxyribonucleic acid, does not stand for three separate words and so does not take periods under our style. The article and print subhead had it right, but the online headline didn't.

---

According to the C.B.O., the bill would reduce illegal immigration by somewhere between 33 percent to 50 percent.

Between 33 percent and 50 percent.

---

Mr. de la Rionda also treaded lightly over witness testimony, mentioning that different people gave differing accounts of who was on top during the struggle.

Unless you are treading water, the past tense is “trod.”

---

[Headline] Purported E-Mail From Snowden Asks for Meeting With Rights Groups

From The Times's stylebook:

purport means seem (often questionably) or intend: The letter purports to be signed by Washington. She purports to be leaving for China. But never the purported letter or the purported mobster; this verb cannot be used in the passive voice. Grammatically, purport behaves in sentences the way seem does: if one word will not fit in a construction, neither will the other.

---

Thomas Bjorkman, a plant scientist at Cornell University, examined the store-bought specimen like a diagnostician, unflinchingly but with a certain compassion. …

But Mr. Bjorkman and a team of fellow researchers are out to change all that.

Normally a scientist/professor with a Ph.D. would be Dr. or Professor on second reference, unless Bjorkman prefers not to use those titles.

---

AUSTIN, Tex. - The Texas Senate gave final passage on Friday to one of the strictest anti-abortion measures in the country, legislation championed by Gov. Rick Perry, who rallied the Republican-controlled Legislature late last month after a Democratic filibuster blocked the bill and intensified already passionate resistance by abortion-rights supporters.

This lead was overstuffed and hard to follow.

---

He worried he might have trouble persuading her to walk to the beach. “It was a cloudy day, definitely going to rain,” he said. “I said, ‘Sweetie, do you want to go for a walk or wait out the rain?' She said, ‘Let's do it.' That's the trooper I love so much.”

Trouper, not trooper.

---

One part that clearly did not work as intended were the emergency slides.

Agreement problem. The subject, “part,” is singular and should have a singular verb.

---

Strikingly, Democratic leaders drew parallels between Mr. Spitzer and Mr. Weiner, trying to lump them together as two wayward men obsessed with reclaiming power and unworthy of redemption, in a direct appeal to women voters who may decide the races.

We don't say “men voters”; make it either “to female voters” or just “to women.” And there should be a comma after “voters.”

---

He famously sent sales of Breton sailor tops surging when he posed in one to promote his “Made in France” campaign. The 50-year-old bachelor's love life has been avidly chronicled, including the night he and his former girlfriend, the attractive black TV journalist Audrey Pulvar, were attacked by racist thugs.

“Black” appears to be germane; “attractive” seems gratuitous. And as we noted recently, “famously” has seen some overuse in our pages.

---

It even has a strategic pork reserve, like the United States has a strategic oil reserve.

“Just as,” not “like.”

---

GHALANAI, Pakistan - The classroom in Ghalanai, an area nestled amid the mountains of Pakistan's tribal belt, has the air of a military camp: a solitary tent pitched beside a bombed-out building, ringed by a high wall and protected by an armed gunman.

Redundant; gunmen are by definition armed.

---

Other events have featured the New York Giants, the New England Patriots, the Boston Bruins, major league soccer stars, children's book authors and monster trucks, to name just a few.

We were presumably referring to the league whose formal name is Major League Soccer, so this should have been capitalized.

---

That advice, friends say, never really sunk in, and Mr. Chen, 41, has found himself enmeshed in controversy.

Sank, not sunk. This was fixed in time for later editions.

---

At 10 p.m., Lloyd texted to Hernandez, “Aite idk anything goin on.”

Aite is slang for “all right” and idk is an acronym for “I don't know.” …

That inventory included a safe that contained a scale and a dish, a duffel bag that had bandages in it, a Blackberry, three iPads, an iPhone and some clothing and shoes.

“Idk” is just an abbreviation, not an acronym, since it is not pronounced as a word. And both Bs in “BlackBerry” should be capitalized.

---

The outrage of European leaders notwithstanding, intelligence experts and historians say the most recent disclosures reflect the complicated nature of the relationship between the intelligence services of the United States and its allies, which have long quietly swapped information on each others' citizens.

Each other's, not each others'.

---

All this helps explain why Mr. Ponder said he, as so many here, would try to get himself to a hospital before seeking help from Detroit.

An overcorrection. This is a prepositional phrase, so the preposition “like” is wanted, not “as.”

---

Every morning (like I said, I am very regular), I find myself with a new appreciation for this bacterial world that we share.

And here, the reverse. We wanted “as,” a conjunction, to introduce a full clause.

---

On Tuesday, he told a hastily assembled group of journalists that he was “not planning any revolutions, and realize fairly well that in this theater, as any other, one person alone can do nothing.”

A partial quote like this has to fit grammatically into the overall sentence. This one doesn't; the introductory “he was” works with “not planning” but does not work with “realize.” Recast.

Tangled Passages

Complex sentences, with one or more subordinate clauses, often entangle writer and editor in an ungrammatical snarl. Relative clauses â€" introduced by the relative pronouns who, whom, that and which â€" seem to give us particular trouble, but piling up clauses of any variety increases the risk of a misstep. Sometimes the best approach is not merely to bandage the grammatical wound but to recast or simplify the sentence.

Some recent examples:

---

Toshi Seeger, whose husband the folk singer Pete Seeger has credited for at least half his success â€" from helping to organize the first Newport Folk Festival to campaigning to clean the Hudson River â€" died on Tuesday at their home in Beacon, N.Y.

The tangle here arises from trying to force a relative pronoun (the possessive “whose,” standing in for “of whom”) to perform more than one function at the same time. It can’t.

“Whose,” referring to Toshi, modifies “husband.” It can’t simultaneous work as the direct object of “has credited,” as we seemed to hope. We would need another pronoun to fill that role: “whose husband … has credited HER for at least half his success.” Better still, we should have recast this cumbersome sentence. (The obit-lead formula, which frequently relies on a long and complicated relative clause describing the subject, is prone to such problems.)

---

Amazon, its detractors argue, is not a nonprofit or public trust but a hard-nosed company whose investors hope will make lots of money someday soon.

A very similar problem arises here, where we have a subordinate clause inside another subordinate clause. “Whose,” the possessive referring to “company” and modifying “investors,” cannot also supply the subject of the verb in the next clause, “will make.” We need another pronoun, even though the antecedent will still be “company”: “whose investors hope it will make lots of money.”

---

Some, like Chai Ling, a student organizer during the Tiananmen Square protests who later embraced evangelical Christianity, alienated many of her supporters by repeatedly suing the creators of a documentary that she says defamed her.

Here the long insertion beginning “like Chai Ling” led us off the original grammatical track. “Some” is supposed to be the subject of the main clause, but it makes no sense to say “some alienated many of her supporters.” Recast it or break it up.

---

But it is the police returning to the streets that offers the most blatant sign that the institutions once loyal to Mr. Mubarak held back while Mr. Morsi was in power.

What does the relative pronoun “that” refer to? If it’s the gerund “returning,” then in precise usage “police” should be possessive: “the police’s returning.” Or “returning” could be a participle modifying “police,” but in that case the relative pronoun should be “who,” and plural: “It is the police returning to the streets who offer the most blatant sign …”

Better still, simplify the sentence, which now consists of four intertwined clauses: “But the police’s return to the streets offers the most blatant sign …”

---

The full acronym has appeared in cases in legal databases for decades; a Chinese gang indictment in New York about a decade ago listed 28 defendants, almost half of which were Fnu Lnus.

A different relative-pronoun problem, also common. The pronoun refers to defendants, so make it “half of whom.”

 
In a Word

This week’s grab bag of grammar, style and other missteps, compiled with help from colleagues and readers.

---

His City Hall, like his eponymous company, was built on the power of information.

As a reader pointed out, in precise usage, Bloomberg L.P. is Michael Bloomberg’s “namesake” company; he is its “eponymous” founder.

---

But Montana along with West Virginia and South Dakota â€" two other red states where an incumbent Democrat has retired and where the Democrats have not identified a strong candidate to replace them â€" gives Republicans a running start.

At least two problems here. The “along with” phrase should be set off with a comma. And the plural “them” doesn’t agree with the singular “an incumbent Democrat.”

---

[Headline] D.N.A. Backs Lore on Pre-Columbian Dogs

DNA, for deoxyribonucleic acid, does not stand for three separate words and so does not take periods under our style. The article and print subhead had it right, but the online headline didn’t.

---

According to the C.B.O., the bill would reduce illegal immigration by somewhere between 33 percent to 50 percent.

Between 33 percent and 50 percent.

---

Mr. de la Rionda also treaded lightly over witness testimony, mentioning that different people gave differing accounts of who was on top during the struggle.

Unless you are treading water, the past tense is “trod.”

---

[Headline] Purported E-Mail From Snowden Asks for Meeting With Rights Groups

From The Times’s stylebook:

purport means seem (often questionably) or intend: The letter purports to be signed by Washington. She purports to be leaving for China. But never the purported letter or the purported mobster; this verb cannot be used in the passive voice. Grammatically, purport behaves in sentences the way seem does: if one word will not fit in a construction, neither will the other.

---

Thomas Bjorkman, a plant scientist at Cornell University, examined the store-bought specimen like a diagnostician, unflinchingly but with a certain compassion. …

But Mr. Bjorkman and a team of fellow researchers are out to change all that.

Normally a scientist/professor with a Ph.D. would be Dr. or Professor on second reference, unless Bjorkman prefers not to use those titles.

---

AUSTIN, Tex. â€" The Texas Senate gave final passage on Friday to one of the strictest anti-abortion measures in the country, legislation championed by Gov. Rick Perry, who rallied the Republican-controlled Legislature late last month after a Democratic filibuster blocked the bill and intensified already passionate resistance by abortion-rights supporters.

This lead was overstuffed and hard to follow.

---

He worried he might have trouble persuading her to walk to the beach. “It was a cloudy day, definitely going to rain,” he said. “I said, ‘Sweetie, do you want to go for a walk or wait out the rain?’ She said, ‘Let’s do it.’ That’s the trooper I love so much.”

Trouper, not trooper.

---

One part that clearly did not work as intended were the emergency slides.

Agreement problem. The subject, “part,” is singular and should have a singular verb.

---

Strikingly, Democratic leaders drew parallels between Mr. Spitzer and Mr. Weiner, trying to lump them together as two wayward men obsessed with reclaiming power and unworthy of redemption, in a direct appeal to women voters who may decide the races.

We don’t say “men voters”; make it either “to female voters” or just “to women.” And there should be a comma after “voters.”

---

He famously sent sales of Breton sailor tops surging when he posed in one to promote his “Made in France” campaign. The 50-year-old bachelor’s love life has been avidly chronicled, including the night he and his former girlfriend, the attractive black TV journalist Audrey Pulvar, were attacked by racist thugs.

“Black” appears to be germane; “attractive” seems gratuitous. And as we noted recently, “famously” has seen some overuse in our pages.

---

It even has a strategic pork reserve, like the United States has a strategic oil reserve.

“Just as,” not “like.”

---

GHALANAI, Pakistan â€" The classroom in Ghalanai, an area nestled amid the mountains of Pakistan’s tribal belt, has the air of a military camp: a solitary tent pitched beside a bombed-out building, ringed by a high wall and protected by an armed gunman.

Redundant; gunmen are by definition armed.

---

Other events have featured the New York Giants, the New England Patriots, the Boston Bruins, major league soccer stars, children’s book authors and monster trucks, to name just a few.

We were presumably referring to the league whose formal name is Major League Soccer, so this should have been capitalized.

---

That advice, friends say, never really sunk in, and Mr. Chen, 41, has found himself enmeshed in controversy.

Sank, not sunk. This was fixed in time for later editions.

---

At 10 p.m., Lloyd texted to Hernandez, “Aite idk anything goin on.”

Aite is slang for “all right” and idk is an acronym for “I don’t know.” …

That inventory included a safe that contained a scale and a dish, a duffel bag that had bandages in it, a Blackberry, three iPads, an iPhone and some clothing and shoes.

“Idk” is just an abbreviation, not an acronym, since it is not pronounced as a word. And both Bs in “BlackBerry” should be capitalized.

---

The outrage of European leaders notwithstanding, intelligence experts and historians say the most recent disclosures reflect the complicated nature of the relationship between the intelligence services of the United States and its allies, which have long quietly swapped information on each others’ citizens.

Each other’s, not each others’.

---

All this helps explain why Mr. Ponder said he, as so many here, would try to get himself to a hospital before seeking help from Detroit.

An overcorrection. This is a prepositional phrase, so the preposition “like” is wanted, not “as.”

---

Every morning (like I said, I am very regular), I find myself with a new appreciation for this bacterial world that we share.

And here, the reverse. We wanted “as,” a conjunction, to introduce a full clause.

---

On Tuesday, he told a hastily assembled group of journalists that he was “not planning any revolutions, and realize fairly well that in this theater, as any other, one person alone can do nothing.”

A partial quote like this has to fit grammatically into the overall sentence. This one doesn’t; the introductory “he was” works with “not planning” but does not work with “realize.” Recast.

Getting Names Wrong

The most fundamental task of journalism is to get the facts right. People's names are among the most basic and important facts we report. And yet …

Errors in names are the single most common reason for corrections. As I've noted before, each mistake - usually just a misspelling - may seem small in itself. But together, they add up to a large and continuing toll on our credibility. We have to do better, and then keep doing better.

One frequent misstep involves common names with multiple variations - Wolfe vs. Woolfe vs. Woolf, Stephen vs. Steven. Many other mistakes involve unusual or unfamiliar names. All names should be double-checked, but those two situations in particular cry out for additional scrutiny, by reporters and editors alike.

Below is the tally from just a week's worth of print corrections. It is not a litany that would inspire confidence in a skeptical reader.

---

July 2

An obituary on Sunday about the social critic Philip E. Slater misstated the surname of Mr. Slater's co-author for the book “The Temporary Society.” He is Warren Bennis, not Bunnis.

An article on Monday about the high cost of fees to workers who receive their wages on prepaid cards rather than by paychecks misstated the surname of a policy associate at Retail Action Project who commented on the issue. He is Naoki Fujita, not Fuji.

---

July 3

An article on Tuesday about more than 6,000 pages of documents released by the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Milwaukee misstated the surname of a Milwaukee priest who helped to form the group Catholic Whistleblowers. He is James Connell, not O'Connell.

An article on Tuesday about the deadly wildfire that killed 19 firefighters misidentified, in some editions, the university where Stephen J. Pyne, one of the nation's leading fire historians, is a professor. It is Arizona State University, not the University of Arizona. The article also misspelled the surname of a contributing reporter in some editions. He is John Dougherty, not Doherty.

A headline last Wednesday with an article about flavored whiskeys misstated the surname of a distiller. He was Jack Daniel, not Daniels.

---

July 4

An article on Wednesday about the inquiry into the death of the 19 firefighters killed in an Arizona wildfire misspelled, in some copies, the surname of the sole surviving firefighter in the group known as the Granite Mountain Hotshots. He is Brendan McDonough, not McDonogh. The article also misstated, in some copies, the given name of a spokesman for the Southwest Incident Command Team. He is Bob Orrill, not Paul.

A critic's notebook article on Tuesday about the new ESPN documentary series “Nine for IX” misstated the given name of the director of a film in the series, “Venus VS.” She is Ava DuVernay, not Ana.

---

July 5

An article on Monday about new Obama administration regulations requiring American companies investing in Myanmar to show steps they have taken to respect human rights there and to protect the environment misspelled the surname of a researcher at Human Rights Watch who said she expected that companies would comply to avoid public criticism. She is Lisa Misol, not Mosol.

A critic's notebook article on June 17 about a recital and a workshop by the violinist Monica Germino and the electronic sound designer Frank van der Weij, at the Austrian Cultural Forum in Manhattan, misspelled the surname of the composer of a work that was performed, “With a Blue Dress On.” She is Julia Wolfe, not Woolfe.

---

July 7

The theater entry in the Week Ahead column last Sunday about the new play “Choir Boy” misstated the surname of the play's author. He is Tarell Alvin McCraney, not McRaney.

An article on June 23 about the WYOamericana Caravan, a 14-date tour through the heart of the West featuring three popular Wyoming bands, misstated the given name and the surname of the founder of the Web site sonicbids.com, which connects musicians with promoters, booking agents and retailers. He is Panos Panay, not Panay Pajos.

An article last Sunday about automobile-branded bicycles misstated the surname of a BMW spokeswoman. She is Nicole Fallenbeck, not Kallenbach.

---

July 9

A picture caption on Saturday with an article about the annual Midsummer Night Swing festival, at Lincoln Center, misspelled the surname of a dance instructor who has given lessons at the event. As the article correctly noted, she is Margaret Batiuchok, not Batiuchuk.

An article on Monday about the marketing of “Monkey: Journey to the West,” the centerpiece of this year's Lincoln Center Festival, misstated the name of the work's director. He is Chen Shi-Zheng, not Cheng Shi Zheng.

 
In a Word

This week's grab bag of grammar, style and other missteps, compiled with help from colleagues and readers.

---

The four-member commission was comprised of Justice Javed Iqbal of the Supreme Court, a retired police officer, a retired diplomat and a retired army general.

Remember, the whole comprises the parts. Make it “included,” “comprised,” “was composed of” or some other alternative.

---

“They didn't approach like the usual fanboys who asked, ‘You're brother was in Nirvana?' ” she said.

“Your” brother, of course, not “you're.”

---

As American palettes have evolved from Budweiser to Brunello di Montalcino, wineries have popped up in all 50 states, from the shores of Lake Michigan to the Texas Hill Country.

A distressingly common mistake. Make it “palates.”

---

Upon removing a woman's body laying midway on the border between the two countries, they discover two halves - one belonging to a Swedish politician and the other to a Danish prostitute.

Lying, not laying.

---

The ultimate luxury for some of them, in fact (though not for Ms. Uttech), would be the option to be a stay-at-home mother.

“I never miss a baseball game,” said Ms. Uttech, uttering a statement that is a fantasy for millions of working mothers (and fathers) nationwide. (This attendance record is even more impressive when you realize that her children play in upward of six a week.)

A fascinating piece, but this article was stuffed with parentheses, which make for choppy reading.

---

Now he has become so aggravated that he is willing to stop his development and sell once and for all - just not to Mr. Serpico.

The use of “aggravate” as a synonym for anger or irritate is informal and best avoided; the precise meaning is “make worse.”

---

On Wednesday, Mr. Bloomberg ate his last ceremonial hot dog as mayor - heavy on the mustard, like usual - and promised to return to the festivities next year as a private citizen.

Make it “as usual.”

---

The collection of 500 statements, which includes inmates' verbal as well as written remarks, has been the subject of analysis, criticism and debate by lawyers, criminal justice researchers and activists who oppose the death penalty.

“Verbal” means in words. Make it, “oral as well as written remarks.”

---

To me, having covered the South for many years, the term seems like one of those polite euphemisms that hides more than it reveals.

Make it “euphemisms that hide more than they reveal.” The subject of the relative clause in this construction - as we have pointed out many, many times before - is “that,” which here is plural to agree with its antecedent, “euphemisms.” The pronoun is not singular and does not refer to “term” or “one.” It would be a different construction, and a different meaning, if we said “the term seems like one that hides more than it reveals.” But in this sentence, we were describing a whole group of “euphemisms” that have a quality in common, not just one.

---

At the end of my tour, I walked down the aisle past business (less gadgetry, but still a lot), past economy plus (more legroom), and to the vast acreage of economy, row upon row of empty seats that, in a few hours, would be filled with squalling babies, muscled guys in Bubba Gump T-shirts, girls in flamingo-pink tank tops, obese armrest hoggers, divorce lawyers jabbering on their cellphones before takeoff, women in spectacles reading “Wolf Hall,” Hasids, Pakistanis, Japanese - the melting pot of American coach.

Use Hasidim, not Hasids, for the plural.

---

The day the photographs were published, the group said, four times as many people visited its Web site than usually do.

“Four times as many … as,” not “than.”

---

Marion Bartoli of France, the No. 15 seed, and Sabine Lisicki of Germany, the No. 23 seed, will face each other on Saturday, and one will win their first Grand Slam title.

“Her,” not “their.” This was later fixed online.

---

Forty-percent of those here illegally didn't jump a fence; they simply overstayed a student or tourist visa.

No reason for a hyphen.

---

Standing outside the home here of a lesbian couple who has lived together and raised a family for 30 years, Democratic leaders said they would push to override the Republican governor's veto of a same-sex marriage bill the Legislature passed last year.

“Have,” not “has.” See the entry in The Times's stylebook on “couple”:

couple may be either singular or plural. Used in reference to two distinct but associated people, couple should be construed as a plural: The couple were married in 1952. The couple argued constantly; they [not it] even threw punches. When the idea is one entity rather than two people, couple may be treated as a singular: Each couple was asked to give $10; The couple was the richest on the block. In general, couple causes fewer problems when treated as a plural.

---

[Caption] Lake Bell and Isaac Mizrahi was among the celebrities who turned out for the annual Bergh Ball.

“Were” among, of course, not “was.”

Getting Names Wrong

The most fundamental task of journalism is to get the facts right. People’s names are among the most basic and important facts we report. And yet …

Errors in names are the single most common reason for corrections. As I’ve noted before, each mistake â€" usually just a misspelling â€" may seem small in itself. But together, they add up to a large and continuing toll on our credibility. We have to do better, and then keep doing better.

One frequent misstep involves common names with multiple variations â€" Wolfe vs. Woolfe vs. Woolf, Stephen vs. Steven. Many other mistakes involve unusual or unfamiliar names. All names should be double-checked, but those two situations in particular cry out for additional scrutiny, by reporters and editors alike.

Below is the tally from just a week’s worth of print corrections. It is not a litany that would inspire confidence in a skeptical reader.

---

July 2

An obituary on Sunday about the social critic Philip E. Slater misstated the surname of Mr. Slater’s co-author for the book “The Temporary Society.” He is Warren Bennis, not Bunnis.

An article on Monday about the high cost of fees to workers who receive their wages on prepaid cards rather than by paychecks misstated the surname of a policy associate at Retail Action Project who commented on the issue. He is Naoki Fujita, not Fuji.

---

July 3

An article on Tuesday about more than 6,000 pages of documents released by the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Milwaukee misstated the surname of a Milwaukee priest who helped to form the group Catholic Whistleblowers. He is James Connell, not O’Connell.

An article on Tuesday about the deadly wildfire that killed 19 firefighters misidentified, in some editions, the university where Stephen J. Pyne, one of the nation’s leading fire historians, is a professor. It is Arizona State University, not the University of Arizona. The article also misspelled the surname of a contributing reporter in some editions. He is John Dougherty, not Doherty.

A headline last Wednesday with an article about flavored whiskeys misstated the surname of a distiller. He was Jack Daniel, not Daniels.

---

July 4

An article on Wednesday about the inquiry into the death of the 19 firefighters killed in an Arizona wildfire misspelled, in some copies, the surname of the sole surviving firefighter in the group known as the Granite Mountain Hotshots. He is Brendan McDonough, not McDonogh. The article also misstated, in some copies, the given name of a spokesman for the Southwest Incident Command Team. He is Bob Orrill, not Paul.

A critic’s notebook article on Tuesday about the new ESPN documentary series “Nine for IX” misstated the given name of the director of a film in the series, “Venus VS.” She is Ava DuVernay, not Ana.

---

July 5

An article on Monday about new Obama administration regulations requiring American companies investing in Myanmar to show steps they have taken to respect human rights there and to protect the environment misspelled the surname of a researcher at Human Rights Watch who said she expected that companies would comply to avoid public criticism. She is Lisa Misol, not Mosol.

A critic’s notebook article on June 17 about a recital and a workshop by the violinist Monica Germino and the electronic sound designer Frank van der Weij, at the Austrian Cultural Forum in Manhattan, misspelled the surname of the composer of a work that was performed, “With a Blue Dress On.” She is Julia Wolfe, not Woolfe.

---

July 7

The theater entry in the Week Ahead column last Sunday about the new play “Choir Boy” misstated the surname of the play’s author. He is Tarell Alvin McCraney, not McRaney.

An article on June 23 about the WYOamericana Caravan, a 14-date tour through the heart of the West featuring three popular Wyoming bands, misstated the given name and the surname of the founder of the Web site sonicbids.com, which connects musicians with promoters, booking agents and retailers. He is Panos Panay, not Panay Pajos.

An article last Sunday about automobile-branded bicycles misstated the surname of a BMW spokeswoman. She is Nicole Fallenbeck, not Kallenbach.

---

July 9

A picture caption on Saturday with an article about the annual Midsummer Night Swing festival, at Lincoln Center, misspelled the surname of a dance instructor who has given lessons at the event. As the article correctly noted, she is Margaret Batiuchok, not Batiuchuk.

An article on Monday about the marketing of “Monkey: Journey to the West,” the centerpiece of this year’s Lincoln Center Festival, misstated the name of the work’s director. He is Chen Shi-Zheng, not Cheng Shi Zheng.

 
In a Word

This week’s grab bag of grammar, style and other missteps, compiled with help from colleagues and readers.

---

The four-member commission was comprised of Justice Javed Iqbal of the Supreme Court, a retired police officer, a retired diplomat and a retired army general.

Remember, the whole comprises the parts. Make it “included,” “comprised,” “was composed of” or some other alternative.

---

“They didn’t approach like the usual fanboys who asked, ‘You’re brother was in Nirvana?’ ” she said.

“Your” brother, of course, not “you’re.”

---

As American palettes have evolved from Budweiser to Brunello di Montalcino, wineries have popped up in all 50 states, from the shores of Lake Michigan to the Texas Hill Country.

A distressingly common mistake. Make it “palates.”

---

Upon removing a woman’s body laying midway on the border between the two countries, they discover two halves â€" one belonging to a Swedish politician and the other to a Danish prostitute.

Lying, not laying.

---

The ultimate luxury for some of them, in fact (though not for Ms. Uttech), would be the option to be a stay-at-home mother.

“I never miss a baseball game,” said Ms. Uttech, uttering a statement that is a fantasy for millions of working mothers (and fathers) nationwide. (This attendance record is even more impressive when you realize that her children play in upward of six a week.)

A fascinating piece, but this article was stuffed with parentheses, which make for choppy reading.

---

Now he has become so aggravated that he is willing to stop his development and sell once and for all â€" just not to Mr. Serpico.

The use of “aggravate” as a synonym for anger or irritate is informal and best avoided; the precise meaning is “make worse.”

---

On Wednesday, Mr. Bloomberg ate his last ceremonial hot dog as mayor â€" heavy on the mustard, like usual â€" and promised to return to the festivities next year as a private citizen.

Make it “as usual.”

---

The collection of 500 statements, which includes inmates’ verbal as well as written remarks, has been the subject of analysis, criticism and debate by lawyers, criminal justice researchers and activists who oppose the death penalty.

“Verbal” means in words. Make it, “oral as well as written remarks.”

---

To me, having covered the South for many years, the term seems like one of those polite euphemisms that hides more than it reveals.

Make it “euphemisms that hide more than they reveal.” The subject of the relative clause in this construction â€" as we have pointed out many, many times before â€" is “that,” which here is plural to agree with its antecedent, “euphemisms.” The pronoun is not singular and does not refer to “term” or “one.” It would be a different construction, and a different meaning, if we said “the term seems like one that hides more than it reveals.” But in this sentence, we were describing a whole group of “euphemisms” that have a quality in common, not just one.

---

At the end of my tour, I walked down the aisle past business (less gadgetry, but still a lot), past economy plus (more legroom), and to the vast acreage of economy, row upon row of empty seats that, in a few hours, would be filled with squalling babies, muscled guys in Bubba Gump T-shirts, girls in flamingo-pink tank tops, obese armrest hoggers, divorce lawyers jabbering on their cellphones before takeoff, women in spectacles reading “Wolf Hall,” Hasids, Pakistanis, Japanese â€" the melting pot of American coach.

Use Hasidim, not Hasids, for the plural.

---

The day the photographs were published, the group said, four times as many people visited its Web site than usually do.

“Four times as many … as,” not “than.”

---

Marion Bartoli of France, the No. 15 seed, and Sabine Lisicki of Germany, the No. 23 seed, will face each other on Saturday, and one will win their first Grand Slam title.

“Her,” not “their.” This was later fixed online.

---

Forty-percent of those here illegally didn’t jump a fence; they simply overstayed a student or tourist visa.

No reason for a hyphen.

---

Standing outside the home here of a lesbian couple who has lived together and raised a family for 30 years, Democratic leaders said they would push to override the Republican governor’s veto of a same-sex marriage bill the Legislature passed last year.

“Have,” not “has.” See the entry in The Times’s stylebook on “couple”:

couple may be either singular or plural. Used in reference to two distinct but associated people, couple should be construed as a plural: The couple were married in 1952. The couple argued constantly; they [not it] even threw punches. When the idea is one entity rather than two people, couple may be treated as a singular: Each couple was asked to give $10; The couple was the richest on the block. In general, couple causes fewer problems when treated as a plural.

---

[Caption] Lake Bell and Isaac Mizrahi was among the celebrities who turned out for the annual Bergh Ball.

“Were” among, of course, not “was.”

Bright Passages

Another small sampling of sparkling prose from recent editions.

---

Arts, 5/16:

Kirk and Spock, in Their Roughhousing Days

In some of his television work - notably “Felicity” and “Alias”; most famously “Lost” - Mr. Abrams has shown both sensitivity to character and an inventive approach to storytelling. As a movie director, though, an opposite set of instincts too often takes hold, as he clings ever more anxiously to the conventions of the revenge-driven action genre. Hardly one to boldly go anywhere, he prefers to cautiously follow and skillfully pander.

A telling and tone-perfect twist on the famous “Star Trek” line, in a review by A.O. Scott.

---

Science, 6/27:

Scientists Unlock Mystery in Evolution of Pitchers

No one knows whether Homo erectus, the early ancestor of both the Yankees and the Red Sox, threw the split-finger fastball.

But he could have, according to a group of scientists who offer new evidence that the classic overhand throw used by baseball players at all positions, and by snowball, rock and tomato hurlers of all ages, is an evolutionary adaptation dependent on several changes in anatomy. They first appeared, the researchers say, around 1.8 million years ago, when humans were most likely beginning to hunt big game and needed to throw sharp objects hard and fast.

[Caption] Mariano Rivera of the Yankees is a celebrated closer, but Homo erectus wasn't bad in his day.

Jim Gorman's account of a key evolutionary adaptation - humans' ability to throw - was full of delightful touches. And the caption writer also rose to the challenge with a delightful embellishment.

---

Metro, 5/6:

Poetry of the Streets, Written by Those Who Know Them Best

He read quickly at times, stumbling on occasion. But for the weightiest section, his delivery was calibrated perfectly, like an avenue's worth of traffic lights, turning green in succession.

“Dignity, always dignity. Some men are not their best behind the wheel of a car,” he said.

He idled for a moment.

“Wish to feel the heartbeat of the big, bad city?” Mr. Goldman asked. “You are doing the right job.”

In a feature about cabby-poets, Matt Flegenheimer included some perfect images of his own.

---

Business Day, 6/20:

Optimistic Fed Outlines an End to Its Stimulus

The impact on the economy will take longer to judge. The Fed's goal is to pull back as the economy gains strength so its departure is barely felt, like a parent who lets go of a bike at the moment a child is ready to ride. But the Fed has removed its hands too soon several times in recent years. On the other side of the equation, the central bank, at some point, runs the risk of pushing too hard for too long, which can also cause crashes.

With images like this one, Binyamin Appelbaum does the seemingly impossible: writing engagingly about Fed policy.

---

Business Day, 6/28:

Fed Officials Try to Ease Concern of Stimulus End

The economy is the victim of a little misunderstanding, Federal Reserve officials said on Thursday, telling investors who have sent borrowing costs soaring that they are misguided in believing the Fed's stimulus campaign is about to wane.

And a few days later, Appelbaum did it again.

---

Foreign, 5/8:

Bodies Pour In as Nigeria Hunts for Islamists

MAIDUGURI, Nigeria - A fresh load of battered corpses arrived, 29 of them in a routine delivery by the Nigerian military to the hospital morgue here.

Unexpectedly, three bodies started moving.

“They were not properly shot,” recalled a security official here. “I had to call the J.T.F.” - the military's joint task force - “and they gunned them down.”

Nothing “bright” about this ghastly scene, but Adam Nossiter's terse opening to this grim tale is unforgettable.

 
In a Word

This week's grab bag of grammar, style and other missteps, compiled with help from colleagues and readers.

---

He volunteered to teach me (just as valiant beaus before him have tried), but the way I see it, no adult should have to supplicate herself to such a trust exercise. It's humiliating.

Presumably we meant “subject,” not “supplicate,” which means implore or plead.

---

Even English - named the seventh most useless major last year by Newsweek - may not be in such bad shape, Mr. Silver says, or at least not any worse shape then before.

A common but irksome typo. Make it than, not then.

---

A steamier domestic drama plays out in “A Muse,” by the South Korean director Jung Ji-woo, about the triangle that develops among a famous poet, his young protégé and the high schoolgirl who installs herself as the poet's housemaid and companion.

Just a missing space, but it changes the meaning rather drastically.

---

After a couple of days in Surry County, I found myself no less closer to unraveling the riddle that is the sonker.

A strange, unintended double negative. Make it “no closer.”

---

Just after 3 p.m. Friday, the three-judge panel issued a one-sentence ruling lifting the stay on a district judge's injunction to not enforce the ban on same-sex marriages.

The back-and-forth-and-back description of the ruling made this very difficult to understand.

---

Busking being serious business in Midtown, long-simmering tensions between the box man and one of his rivals erupted into violence on Friday night, when the box man was said to have stabbed a competing panhandler, Wayne Semancik, five times in the head and chest with a pen.

[Caption] Wayne Semancik, a busker, was stabbed five times with a pen that left puncture wounds on his face, scalp and chest. A sign he carries asks for “spare change for pot, pizza and beer.”

“Busk” means to perform in a public place for money. While these Times Square regulars have a shtick of sorts, several readers argued that “begging” or “panhandling” was a more accurate description.

---

“This global collection of grass-roots volunteers makes for a collectively brilliant creation, but it can also lead to online hysteria and ‘edit wars' over minutia like how to categorize hummus.”

Here, as in most uses, we wanted the plural: “minutiae.”

---

Even while becoming a Teen Beat sensation in the late '80s playing the angst-y narc on “21 Jump Street” on television, it was Mr. Depp's extracurricular reputation - for unsolicited hotel room renovation and for breaking the hearts of doe-eyed gamins - that made him a poster boy for delinquency.

This cumbersome sentence is made worse by the dangler at the beginning. Make it “Even while he was a Teen Beat sensation” or “while he was becoming.”

---

It did not take long, but then it rarely does after uber-upsets.

These pseudo-German coinages are worn out and best avoided; in any case, über takes an umlaut.

---

Some critics say it has grown too easy, with a pass rate of about 90 percent last year; others contend that it now serves as little more than an exceptionally inefficient way to weed out the least-proficient students.

No need for a hyphen.

---

With the city's annual budget already passed, Mr. Bloomberg has lost a major tool of persuasion in his negotiations with council members. But the popular and wealthy mayor still has a sizable arsenal at his disposal, starting with the promise of his future political support, not to mention the traditional carrots and sticks that any City Hall can wield.

“Tool,” “arsenal” and “carrots and sticks” are a lot of different metaphors to wield in one passage.

---

By contrast, everyone knew where half of the Moscow press corps was: halfway to Havana, on one of the few regular Russian flights that does not serve alcohol.

Recorded announcement: The subject in the relative clause is “that,” which is plural to agree with its antecedent, “flights.” So make it “few regular Russian flights that do not serve alcohol.”

---

But the underlying issue here is the marriage of mutual dependency and inevitable misery that Rodriguez and the Yankees are locked into, till the death of his $275 million contract (after the 2017 season) do they part.

Playing on this trope is a pretty shopworn device by now. But if we must do it, remember, the expression is “till death do US part” - “us” is the direct object, not the subject. So in this example we needed “do THEM part.”

---

Following a much-publicized three-week trial, he found that same-sex marriage caused no harm whatsoever to the state or society but substantial harm to same-sex couples by depriving them of their rights to equal protection and due process.

The thought is garbled here. Presumably we meant that a ban on same-sex marriage caused substantial harm to those couples.

---

China expected an important annual meeting between the United States and China, known as the Security and Economic Dialogue, to proceed as scheduled for July in Washington, Ms. Hua said.

“Expects,” not “expected.” With the attribution “Ms. Hua said” at the end, it does not require changing the other verb tenses.

---

In January, House Democrats - with a minority of House Republicans - passed a Senate-White House compromise to avert massive tax increases and sudden across-the-board spending cuts, after House Republicans sunk the speaker's more conservative version of the legislation.

Sank, not sunk.

---

Abigail Fisher, who sued the University of Texas over it's affirmative action policy, appeared with Edward Blum of the Project on Fair Representation, at a news conference on Monday after the Supreme Court handed down its decision in her case.

Oh, how this slip annoys readers. It was quickly fixed: “its,” not “it's.”

---

Because the president had already authorized the federal government to cover 75 percent of the state's costs for debris removal and emergency response, the governor's request amounted to a relatively small amount - roughly $17 million in uninsured and underinsured damages to public buildings, equipment and utilities.

“Damages” are awarded by a court in a lawsuit; “damage” is the word for injury, harm or destruction, no matter how widespread.

Bright Passages

Another small sampling of sparkling prose from recent editions.

---

Arts, 5/16:

Kirk and Spock, in Their Roughhousing Days

In some of his television work â€" notably “Felicity” and “Alias”; most famously “Lost” â€" Mr. Abrams has shown both sensitivity to character and an inventive approach to storytelling. As a movie director, though, an opposite set of instincts too often takes hold, as he clings ever more anxiously to the conventions of the revenge-driven action genre. Hardly one to boldly go anywhere, he prefers to cautiously follow and skillfully pander.

A telling and tone-perfect twist on the famous “Star Trek” line, in a review by A.O. Scott.

---

Science, 6/27:

Scientists Unlock Mystery in Evolution of Pitchers

No one knows whether Homo erectus, the early ancestor of both the Yankees and the Red Sox, threw the split-finger fastball.

But he could have, according to a group of scientists who offer new evidence that the classic overhand throw used by baseball players at all positions, and by snowball, rock and tomato hurlers of all ages, is an evolutionary adaptation dependent on several changes in anatomy. They first appeared, the researchers say, around 1.8 million years ago, when humans were most likely beginning to hunt big game and needed to throw sharp objects hard and fast.

[Caption] Mariano Rivera of the Yankees is a celebrated closer, but Homo erectus wasn’t bad in his day.

Jim Gorman’s account of a key evolutionary adaptation â€" humans’ ability to throw â€" was full of delightful touches. And the caption writer also rose to the challenge with a delightful embellishment.

---

Metro, 5/6:

Poetry of the Streets, Written by Those Who Know Them Best

He read quickly at times, stumbling on occasion. But for the weightiest section, his delivery was calibrated perfectly, like an avenue’s worth of traffic lights, turning green in succession.

“Dignity, always dignity. Some men are not their best behind the wheel of a car,” he said.

He idled for a moment.

“Wish to feel the heartbeat of the big, bad city?” Mr. Goldman asked. “You are doing the right job.”

In a feature about cabby-poets, Matt Flegenheimer included some perfect images of his own.

---

Business Day, 6/20:

Optimistic Fed Outlines an End to Its Stimulus

The impact on the economy will take longer to judge. The Fed’s goal is to pull back as the economy gains strength so its departure is barely felt, like a parent who lets go of a bike at the moment a child is ready to ride. But the Fed has removed its hands too soon several times in recent years. On the other side of the equation, the central bank, at some point, runs the risk of pushing too hard for too long, which can also cause crashes.

With images like this one, Binyamin Appelbaum does the seemingly impossible: writing engagingly about Fed policy.

---

Business Day, 6/28:

Fed Officials Try to Ease Concern of Stimulus End

The economy is the victim of a little misunderstanding, Federal Reserve officials said on Thursday, telling investors who have sent borrowing costs soaring that they are misguided in believing the Fed’s stimulus campaign is about to wane.

And a few days later, Appelbaum did it again.

---

Foreign, 5/8:

Bodies Pour In as Nigeria Hunts for Islamists

MAIDUGURI, Nigeria â€" A fresh load of battered corpses arrived, 29 of them in a routine delivery by the Nigerian military to the hospital morgue here.

Unexpectedly, three bodies started moving.

“They were not properly shot,” recalled a security official here. “I had to call the J.T.F.” â€" the military’s joint task force â€" “and they gunned them down.”

Nothing “bright” about this ghastly scene, but Adam Nossiter’s terse opening to this grim tale is unforgettable.

 
In a Word

This week’s grab bag of grammar, style and other missteps, compiled with help from colleagues and readers.

---

He volunteered to teach me (just as valiant beaus before him have tried), but the way I see it, no adult should have to supplicate herself to such a trust exercise. It’s humiliating.

Presumably we meant “subject,” not “supplicate,” which means implore or plead.

---

Even English â€" named the seventh most useless major last year by Newsweek â€" may not be in such bad shape, Mr. Silver says, or at least not any worse shape then before.

A common but irksome typo. Make it than, not then.

---

A steamier domestic drama plays out in “A Muse,” by the South Korean director Jung Ji-woo, about the triangle that develops among a famous poet, his young protégé and the high schoolgirl who installs herself as the poet’s housemaid and companion.

Just a missing space, but it changes the meaning rather drastically.

---

After a couple of days in Surry County, I found myself no less closer to unraveling the riddle that is the sonker.

A strange, unintended double negative. Make it “no closer.”

---

Just after 3 p.m. Friday, the three-judge panel issued a one-sentence ruling lifting the stay on a district judge’s injunction to not enforce the ban on same-sex marriages.

The back-and-forth-and-back description of the ruling made this very difficult to understand.

---

Busking being serious business in Midtown, long-simmering tensions between the box man and one of his rivals erupted into violence on Friday night, when the box man was said to have stabbed a competing panhandler, Wayne Semancik, five times in the head and chest with a pen.

[Caption] Wayne Semancik, a busker, was stabbed five times with a pen that left puncture wounds on his face, scalp and chest. A sign he carries asks for “spare change for pot, pizza and beer.”

“Busk” means to perform in a public place for money. While these Times Square regulars have a shtick of sorts, several readers argued that “begging” or “panhandling” was a more accurate description.

---

“This global collection of grass-roots volunteers makes for a collectively brilliant creation, but it can also lead to online hysteria and ‘edit wars’ over minutia like how to categorize hummus.”

Here, as in most uses, we wanted the plural: “minutiae.”

---

Even while becoming a Teen Beat sensation in the late ’80s playing the angst-y narc on “21 Jump Street” on television, it was Mr. Depp’s extracurricular reputation â€" for unsolicited hotel room renovation and for breaking the hearts of doe-eyed gamins â€" that made him a poster boy for delinquency.

This cumbersome sentence is made worse by the dangler at the beginning. Make it “Even while he was a Teen Beat sensation” or “while he was becoming.”

---

It did not take long, but then it rarely does after uber-upsets.

These pseudo-German coinages are worn out and best avoided; in any case, über takes an umlaut.

---

Some critics say it has grown too easy, with a pass rate of about 90 percent last year; others contend that it now serves as little more than an exceptionally inefficient way to weed out the least-proficient students.

No need for a hyphen.

---

With the city’s annual budget already passed, Mr. Bloomberg has lost a major tool of persuasion in his negotiations with council members. But the popular and wealthy mayor still has a sizable arsenal at his disposal, starting with the promise of his future political support, not to mention the traditional carrots and sticks that any City Hall can wield.

“Tool,” “arsenal” and “carrots and sticks” are a lot of different metaphors to wield in one passage.

---

By contrast, everyone knew where half of the Moscow press corps was: halfway to Havana, on one of the few regular Russian flights that does not serve alcohol.

Recorded announcement: The subject in the relative clause is “that,” which is plural to agree with its antecedent, “flights.” So make it “few regular Russian flights that do not serve alcohol.”

---

But the underlying issue here is the marriage of mutual dependency and inevitable misery that Rodriguez and the Yankees are locked into, till the death of his $275 million contract (after the 2017 season) do they part.

Playing on this trope is a pretty shopworn device by now. But if we must do it, remember, the expression is “till death do US part” â€" “us” is the direct object, not the subject. So in this example we needed “do THEM part.”

---

Following a much-publicized three-week trial, he found that same-sex marriage caused no harm whatsoever to the state or society but substantial harm to same-sex couples by depriving them of their rights to equal protection and due process.

The thought is garbled here. Presumably we meant that a ban on same-sex marriage caused substantial harm to those couples.

---

China expected an important annual meeting between the United States and China, known as the Security and Economic Dialogue, to proceed as scheduled for July in Washington, Ms. Hua said.

“Expects,” not “expected.” With the attribution “Ms. Hua said” at the end, it does not require changing the other verb tenses.

---

In January, House Democrats â€" with a minority of House Republicans â€" passed a Senate-White House compromise to avert massive tax increases and sudden across-the-board spending cuts, after House Republicans sunk the speaker’s more conservative version of the legislation.

Sank, not sunk.

---

Abigail Fisher, who sued the University of Texas over it’s affirmative action policy, appeared with Edward Blum of the Project on Fair Representation, at a news conference on Monday after the Supreme Court handed down its decision in her case.

Oh, how this slip annoys readers. It was quickly fixed: “its,” not “it’s.”

---

Because the president had already authorized the federal government to cover 75 percent of the state’s costs for debris removal and emergency response, the governor’s request amounted to a relatively small amount â€" roughly $17 million in uninsured and underinsured damages to public buildings, equipment and utilities.

“Damages” are awarded by a court in a lawsuit; “damage” is the word for injury, harm or destruction, no matter how widespread.

Singular? Plural? Pick One

Some words and expressions can be either singular or plural, depending on the context or the construction. But they can't be construed as both singular and plural at the same time, in the same sentence.

Consider these recent missteps:

---

The couple was in New York at their Fifth Avenue penthouse on Thursday when news of the divorce, said to be Mr. Murdoch's decision, emerged.

We used a singular verb with couple, but a plural pronoun. Which is it? Here, as in most cases, we should have treated “couple” as plural; one hint is that we would never have said “its Fifth Avenue penthouse.” Occasionally, though, the singular is appropriate, when the couple is treated as a single entity - for instance, when one couple is compared as a unit with other couples. Here's what The Times's stylebook says:

couple may be either singular or plural. Used in reference to two distinct but assoc iated people, couple should be construed as a plural: The couple were married in 1952. The couple argued constantly; they [not it] even threw punches. When the idea is one entity rather than two people, couple may be treated as a singular: Each couple was asked to give $10; The couple was the richest on the block. In general, couple causes fewer problems when treated as a plural.

---

Even as the number of views were adding up, so were concerns within the company about the site's future.

In this case, make it “the number of views was adding up” (or simply, “the views were adding up”). Here's the stylebook's guidance:

Total of or number of (and a few similar expressions, like series of) may take either a plural or a singular verb. In general, when the expression follows a, it is plural: A total of 102 people were injured; A number of people were injured. When the expression follows the, it is usually sin gular: The total of all department budgets is $187 million; The number of passengers injured was later found to be 12.

---

When Diana Greene Foster, a demographer and an associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of California, San Francisco, first began studying women who were turned away from abortion clinics, she was struck by how little data there were.

Traditionalists among our readers bemoan our permissiveness in allowing “data” to be used as plural or singular, rather than insisting on the plural. (Actually, it's clearer to distinguish between its use as a “count” noun, requiring a plural verb, and as a “mass” noun, with a singular verb.)

But even we aren't as permissive as this example suggests; the word can't be singular and plural at the same time. In this example, if we insisted on “data” as a plural (count) noun, we would have to say “struck by how few data there were. ” That doesn't really convey the intended sense; better to construe it as a mass noun and make it singular throughout: “struck by how little data there was.” Or, if you're worried about offending traditionalists, consider an artful dodge: “was struck by the paucity of data.”

---

In December, the Federal Communications Commission urged the F.A.A. to relax the rules of devices on airplanes during takeoff and landing, noting that the use of electronics “empower people to stay informed and connected with friends and family, and they enable both large and small businesses to be more productive and efficient, helping drive economic growth and boost U.S. competitiveness.”

Here's a different problem. The verb in the quote is plural, so the paraphrased portion has to provide a plural subject; the singular “use” doesn't work.

 
In a Word

This week's grab bag of grammar, style and o ther missteps, compiled with help from colleagues and readers.

---

Emotional clips also made it difficult for depressed viewers to distinguish between fat-free and whole milk. As such, the study's author, Petra Platte, cautions against buying buttered popcorn: “Fifty percent of us might not even taste the fat,” she says.

“As such” does not simply mean “accordingly.” From the stylebook:

as such. In this construction, such is a pronoun, requiring a noun for its antecedent. Thus: She is an editor; as such, she assigns reporters. But not He works for The Times; as such, he covers medicine.

---

The maker of the drug, Teva Pharmaceuticals, must first apply for permission to sell it over-the-counter to all ages, which the Food and Drug Administration has said it will approve promptly.

The hyphens would be needed only if the phrase were modifying a noun, e.g. an over-the-counter medication.

---

So far, the Afghan security forces have held, but like the Americans and British before them, the price has been high, according to Afghan and Western officials and accounts by locals.

The “like” phrase is a dangler, since it does not modify the following noun (“the price”).

---

So is all this a case of wringing the hands (and the alarm bell) too soon?

Make it “wringing the hands (and ringing the alarm bell)” or abandon the wordplay.

---

One of Mr. de Blasio's ideas includes a municipal identification card that would serve as proof of residence and allow illegal immigrants to access services.

Avoid this jargony use of “access” as a verb. Here, “get” or “receive” or “have access to” would all work.

---

She said her son adamantly denied any abuse had taken place and th at psychologists and the police had emphasized how important it was for him to come to terms with his abuse and how, according to her notes, “testifying is a very positive experience” that would bring victims “enormous relief.”

This long, cumbersome sentence is hard to read. Among other things, we should have “that” after “said,” to be parallel with the later “that.”

---

A review concluded that Jesse Friedman, whose case was featured in a film, was properly ruled as a “sex offender.”

“As” is extraneous here.

---

It stressed it would withdraw its support only if the economy were strong enough.

Here, we didn't want the subjunctive; make it “only if the economy was strong enough.” The original, direct quote was something like, “The Fed will withdraw its support only if the economy is strong enough.” After the past tense “stressed,” “is” changes to the simple past tense “was.”

---

Lindsay Benner, a professional juggler, honed her talents at Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco after graduating college.

From the stylebook:

graduate (v.). A person may graduate from a school or be graduated from it. But never: They graduated high school.

---

Still, some doctors and obesity advocates said that having the nation's largest physician group make the declaration would focus more attention on obesity.

This sort of shorthand is illogical, even silly; no one advocates obesity. Rephrase.

---

The properties he bought up in the 1970s and '80s - the Shore Theater, the Thunderbolt roller coaster and the Playland Arcade - either remain dilapidated and largely vacant, or have been utterly vanquished.

This was an odd choice of phrase to describe properties. Did we mean “razed” or “bu lldozed”?

---

There were ministers and moguls, rabbis and raconteurs, a tall blonde model with a plunging neckline, a religious soldier with sidecurls and an Intel executive inexplicably donning a black beret.

Use “blond” as the adjective, the stylebook says.

Singular? Plural? Pick One

Some words and expressions can be either singular or plural, depending on the context or the construction. But they can’t be construed as both singular and plural at the same time, in the same sentence.

Consider these recent missteps:

---

The couple was in New York at their Fifth Avenue penthouse on Thursday when news of the divorce, said to be Mr. Murdoch’s decision, emerged.

We used a singular verb with couple, but a plural pronoun. Which is it? Here, as in most cases, we should have treated “couple” as plural; one hint is that we would never have said “its Fifth Avenue penthouse.” Occasionally, though, the singular is appropriate, when the couple is treated as a single entity â€" for instance, when one couple is compared as a unit with other couples. Here’s what The Times’s stylebook says:

couple may be either singular or plural. Used in reference to two distinct but associated people, couple shuld be construed as a plural: The couple were married in 1952. The couple argued constantly; they [not it] even threw punches. When the idea is one entity rather than two people, couple may be treated as a singular: Each couple was asked to give $10; The couple was the richest on the block. In general, couple causes fewer problems when treated as a plural.

---

Even as the number of views were adding up, so were concerns within the company about the site’s future.

In this case, make it “the number of views was adding up” (or simply, “the views were adding up”). Here’s the stylebook’s guidance:

Total of or number of (and a few similar expressions, like series of) may take either a plural or a singular verb. In general, when the expression follows a, it is plural: A total of 102 people were injured; A number of people were injured. When the expression follows the, it is usually singular: The total of all department budgets i! s $187 million; The number of passengers injured was later found to be 12.

---

When Diana Greene Foster, a demographer and an associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of California, San Francisco, first began studying women who were turned away from abortion clinics, she was struck by how little data there were.

Traditionalists among our readers bemoan our permissiveness in allowing “data” to be used as plural or singular, rather than insisting on the plural. (Actually, it’s clearer to distinguish between its use as a “count” noun, requiring a plural verb, and as a “mass” noun, with a singular verb.)

But even we aren’t as permissive as this example suggests; the word can’t be singular and plural at the same time. In this example, if we insisted on “data” as a plural (count) noun, we would have to say “struck by how few data there were.” That doesn’t really convey the intended sense; better to construeit as a mass noun and make it singular throughout: “struck by how little data there was.” Or, if you’re worried about offending traditionalists, consider an artful dodge: “was struck by the paucity of data.”

---

In December, the Federal Communications Commission urged the F.A.A. to relax the rules of devices on airplanes during takeoff and landing, noting that the use of electronics “empower people to stay informed and connected with friends and family, and they enable both large and small businesses to be more productive and efficient, helping drive economic growth and boost U.S. competitiveness.”

Here’s a different problem. The verb in the quote is plural, so the paraphrased portion has to provide a plural subject; the singular “use” doesn’t work.

 
In a Word

This week’s grab bag of grammar, style and other missteps, compiled with help from colleagues and readers.

---

Emotional! clips al! so made it difficult for depressed viewers to distinguish between fat-free and whole milk. As such, the study’s author, Petra Platte, cautions against buying buttered popcorn: “Fifty percent of us might not even taste the fat,” she says.

“As such” does not simply mean “accordingly.” From the stylebook:

as such. In this construction, such is a pronoun, requiring a noun for its antecedent. Thus: She is an editor; as such, she assigns reporters. But not He works for The Times; as such, he covers medicine.

---

The maker of the drug, Teva Pharmaceuticals, must first apply for permission to sell it over-the-counter to all ages, which the Food and Drug Administration has said it will approve promptly.

The hyphens would be needed only if the phrase were modifying a noun, e.g. an over-the-counter medication.

---

So far, the Afghan security forces have held, but like the American and British before them, the price has been high, according to Afghan and Western officials and accounts by locals.

The “like” phrase is a dangler, since it does not modify the following noun (“the price”).

---

So is all this a case of wringing the hands (and the alarm bell) too soon?

Make it “wringing the hands (and ringing the alarm bell)” or abandon the wordplay.

---

One of Mr. de Blasio’s ideas includes a municipal identification card that would serve as proof of residence and allow illegal immigrants to access services.

Avoid this jargony use of “access” as a verb. Here, “get” or “receive” or “have access to” would all work.

---

She said her son adamantly denied any abuse had taken place and that psychologists and the police had emphasized how important it was for him to come to terms with his abuse and how, according to her notes, “! testifyin! g is a very positive experience” that would bring victims “enormous relief.”

This long, cumbersome sentence is hard to read. Among other things, we should have “that” after “said,” to be parallel with the later “that.”

---

A review concluded that Jesse Friedman, whose case was featured in a film, was properly ruled as a “sex offender.”

“As” is extraneous here.

---

It stressed it would withdraw its support only if the economy were strong enough.

Here, we didn’t want the subjunctive; make it “only if the economy was strong enough.” The original, direct quote was something like, “The Fed will withdraw its support only if the economy is strong enough.” After the past tense “stressed,” “is” changes to the simple past tense “was.”

---

Lindsay Benner, a professional juggler, honed her talents at Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco after graduating college.

rom the stylebook:

graduate (v.). A person may graduate from a school or be graduated from it. But never: They graduated high school.

---

Still, some doctors and obesity advocates said that having the nation’s largest physician group make the declaration would focus more attention on obesity.

This sort of shorthand is illogical, even silly; no one advocates obesity. Rephrase.

---

The properties he bought up in the 1970s and ’80s â€" the Shore Theater, the Thunderbolt roller coaster and the Playland Arcade â€" either remain dilapidated and largely vacant, or have been utterly vanquished.

This was an odd choice of phrase to describe properties. Did we mean “razed” or “bulldozed”?

---

There were ministers and moguls, rabbis and raconteurs, a tall blonde model with a plunging neckline, a religious soldier with sidecurls and an Intel executive inexp! licably d! onning a black beret.

Use “blond” as the adjective, the stylebook says.

Au Revoir, Rendezvous

The editors and writers of IHT Rendezvous say to our loyal readers: not goodbye, but until we meet again.