For this week's roundup of grammar, style and other editing missteps, I turn once again to the popular After Deadline Quiz. Try to identify at least one problem in each of the following passages; my answers and explanations are below.
Thanks to colleagues and readers for contributions.
1. Ms. Ahrendts's rein at the top of Burberry has been a rewarding one for shareholders.
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2. Georgia Nell Blume and William Donald Sugerman are to be married Sunday at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden in Brooklyn.
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3. Revenge porn is one of those things that sounds as if it must be illegal but actually isn't.
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4. There are live webcams of her practicing at her home in North Carolina, long blonde hair tossing and brow furrowed in concentration as she reads through new works.
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5. A video featuring Patrick Stewart discussing domestic violence was uploaded more than six million times after it was posted in May.
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6. Mr. Giuliani turned to Tamra Roberts Lhota, a soft-voiced, unprepossessing native of Napa, Calif., who mapped out a yearlong blitz of New York City's big givers: nearly 300 house parties, law-firm breakfasts and sit-down meetings with real estate and financial barons.
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7. Mr. Obama's promise the day after the Sept. 11, 2012, attacks to bring to justice those responsible for the attacks in Benghazi, which resulted in the deaths of four Americans, and the lack of success so far, has led the Republicans to renew their criticism of the administration for its handling of the episode, as officials have made the case that Congress should authorize a military strike against Syria.
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8. Jason Baretz wore a striped convict's outfit as he addressed a group at Northern Valley Regional High School at Demarest on a recent Monday evening.
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9. The president also repeated, as many Republicans have acknowledged, that the House could pass measures both to finance and reopen the government and increase the nation's borrowing limit, averting a catastrophic default, if Mr. Boehner would allow votes.
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10. Cabrera walked and flew out in his first two at-bats, but he came up against Maurer in the sixth inning with the score tied at one.
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11. Transfer all the money directly to a charity that has no political underpinnings or simply forego your claims entirely and move on.
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12. Mr. Koppelman and Mr. Levien have engaged in this kind of latter-day rat-packery before - in their scripts for “Rounders,†“Knockwound Guys†and “Ocean's Thirteen†- but usually with more verve and intelligence than is evident here.
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13. “I'm the one who wanted to recruit her,†Ms. Brier said, adding that she likes to have women employees around her when possible.
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14. The company on Wednesday said it was eliminating the charges that a customer normally paid to use their phone number and data service in a foreign country, called roaming fees.
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15. The leading candidate to succeed Mr. Bloomberg, Bill de Blasio, a Democrat, is a no-bones-about-it critic of charter schools who rose to prominence in part by berating the mayor's educational agenda.
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16. Even before the announcement, he said, one journalist had invaded Dr. Higgs' building looking for an interview.
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17. Local women still adhere to centuries-old Islamic traditions, wearing the abaya, a long cloak, and niquab, or face covering; images of women are routinely censored in books and magazines.
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18. At the start of the school year on Aug. 28, she tried to register the children in two public schools near her new home. At both, she said, the principles told her to wait until a double shift system could be put in place, with one set of students attending in the morning and another, mostly Syrian, in the afternoon.
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19. In the fiscal year ending June 30, MacNeil/Lehrer Productions fell short in raising corporate underwriting for the show, and had to appeal several times to PBS for emergency cash infusions, according to public television employees familiar with the financial situation.
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20. Mr. Drexler was standing at his recently opened clothing store, Alex Mill, staring intently down at the socks, which were displayed unrolled, in a windowless frame, laying flat on a counter.
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Answers
1. Ms. Ahrendts's rein at the top of Burberry has been a rewarding one for shareholders.
One of our most frequent homophone mixups. Reign, not rein.
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2. Georgia Nell Blume and William Donald Sugerman are to be married Sunday at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden in Brooklyn.
As opposed to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden in Queens? We seemed to follow our formula out the window.
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3. Revenge porn is one of those things that sounds as if it must be illegal but actually isn't.
As careful After Deadline readers surely know, in this construction, the relative pronoun “that†is plural (agreeing with “thingsâ€) so the verbs in that clause should be plural as well.
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4. There are live webcams of her practicing at her home in North Carolina, long blonde hair tossing and brow furrowed in concentration as she reads through new works.
According to The Times's stylebook, as an adjective it's always “blond.â€
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5. A video featuring Patrick Stewart discussing domestic violence was uploaded more than six million times after it was posted in May.
Uploading refers to posting something online; this video was probably uploaded once, or maybe a few times to different sites. It was then viewed millions of times.
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6. Mr. Giuliani turned to Tamra Roberts Lhota, a soft-voiced, unprepossessing native of Napa, Calif., who mapped out a yearlong blitz of New York City's big givers: nearly 300 house parties, law-firm breakfasts and sit-down meetings with real estate and financial barons.
“Unprepossessing†means unimpressive or nondescript. It's clear from the sentence and even more clear from the overall context that we didn't mean that. Presumably we wanted something like “unpretentious†or perhaps “low-key.â€
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7. Mr. Obama's promise the day after the Sept. 11, 2012, attacks to bring to justice those responsible for the attacks in Benghazi, which resulted in the deaths of four Americans, and the lack of success so far, has led the Republicans to renew their criticism of the administration for its handling of the episode, as officials have made the case that Congress should authorize a military strike against Syria.
Make it “have led,†plural. The subject is “Mr. Obama's promise … and the lack of success so far.†(The grammatical flaw suggests a bigger problem - the sentence is too long and cumbersome.)
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8. Jason Baretz wore a striped convict's outfit as he addressed a group at Northern Valley Regional High School at Demarest on a recent Monday evening.
O.K., maybe not an error. But I still couldn't help wondering: Do the striped convicts dress differently from the plaid convicts? Perhaps “a convict's striped outfit.â€
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9. The president also repeated, as many Republicans have acknowledged, that the House could pass measures both to finance and reopen the government and increase the nation's borrowing limit, averting a catastrophic default, if Mr. Boehner would allow votes.
Not parallel. Make it “both to finance and reopen … and to increase†Or omit “both.â€
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10. Cabrera walked and flew out in his first two at-bats, but he came up against Maurer in the sixth inning with the score tied at one.
In the baseball context, the past tense is “flied out.â€
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11. Transfer all the money directly to a charity that has no political underpinnings or simply forego your claims entirely and move on.
A common error. Make it “forgo.â€
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12. Mr. Koppelman and Mr. Levien have engaged in this kind of latter-day rat-packery before - in their scripts for “Rounders,†“Knockwound Guys†and “Ocean's Thirteen†- but usually with more verve and intelligence than is evident here.
Make it “more verve and intelligence than are evident here.â€
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13. “I'm the one who wanted to recruit her,†Ms. Brier said, adding that she likes to have women employees around her when possible.
Don't use “women†as a modifier. Make it “female employees,†or rephrase.
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14. The company on Wednesday said it was eliminating the charges that a customer normally paid to use their phone number and data service in a foreign country, called roaming fees.
“Their†should not be used with a singular antecedent, in this case “customer.†A simple fix here is to make “customers†plural. (Also, the modifying phrase “called roaming fees†has roamed awfully far from what it modifies, “charges.â€)
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15. The leading candidate to succeed Mr. Bloomberg, Bill de Blasio, a Democrat, is a no-bones-about-it critic of charter schools who rose to prominence in part by berating the mayor's educational agenda.
“Berate†means “scold,†and as with “scold,†the direct object should be the person berated, not the grounds for the criticism. Make it something like “criticizing†or “assailing,†or rephrase to say “berating the mayor for his educational agenda.â€
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16. Even before the announcement, he said, one journalist had invaded Dr. Higgs' building looking for an interview.
The possessive of Higgs is Higgs's.
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17. Local women still adhere to centuries-old Islamic traditions, wearing the abaya, a long cloak, and niquab, or face covering; images of women are routinely censored in books and magazines.
The correct spelling is “niqab.â€
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18. At the start of the school year on Aug. 28, she tried to register the children in two public schools near her new home. At both, she said, the principles told her to wait until a double shift system could be put in place, with one set of students attending in the morning and another, mostly Syrian, in the afternoon.
Principals, of course, not principles.
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19. In the fiscal year ending June 30, MacNeil/Lehrer Productions fell short in raising corporate underwriting for the show, and had to appeal several times to PBS for emergency cash infusions, according to public television employees familiar with the financial situation.
Ended, not ending. From the stylebook:
ended, ending. Use ended for the past, ending for the future: the weather for the period ended last Tuesday; the weather for the period ending next Friday.
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20. Mr. Drexler was standing at his recently opened clothing store, Alex Mill, staring intently down at the socks, which were displayed unrolled, in a windowless frame, laying flat on a counter.
Readers really hate this mistake, and so should we. Lying, not laying.
